guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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