You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
