Say something about gay babies.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
