he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
