Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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