We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
