They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
