"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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