where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
