I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh god it's open bar.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
