Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize