Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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