i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
