Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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