Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
