no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
