Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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