I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize