giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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