do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
