so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
