There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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