Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
two words: eviction party
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
