yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
