How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
