Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
