well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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