dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
