Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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