I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
