Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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