I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
