Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
