So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need a beard to bite.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
