508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
