it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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