I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
