I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize