Plan B is the new Plan A
im six kinds of drunk right now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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