my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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