oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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