your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
