are you so shy because you have an std?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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