Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
