am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
