I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
