Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
