what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize