if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize