If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
