I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Church boner. Awkwardddd
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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