He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
