8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
