I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
