Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
