I bet he comes in French.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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