oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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