I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
