i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my phone needs a breathalizer
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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