I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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