wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
