All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
