i think my mom watched the whole time
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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