He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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