Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize