Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
