You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
