My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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