operation have a gay friend backfired
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
