I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
