don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize