That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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