Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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